The holidays are often a stressful time for adults, filled with party engagements, shopping, spending, cooking, cleaning, and lots of preparations. As the parent of a child with special needs, sometimes the holidays can bring an extra stress, with movies, television, and commercials showing supposed “normal” families smiling and laughing through their holiday traditions.
But what if your family looks and feels different? What if your family doesn’t fit that cookie cutter mold (and whose does, actually?). You might feel sad that your family doesn’t match those picture perfect ones on TV; then you might feel guilty that you feel this way and ultimately you may feel alone, like you’re the only one feeling this way.
Shouldn’t the season be filled with love, peace, joy, and enjoying simple family moments? You don’t have to just survive this season – you deserve to embrace it! Check out these 3 tips to maximize the special time with your special needs child and your family in general.
Lose the guilt:
How can you say yes to a cocktail party and leave your special needs child at home? How can you have a carefree night out filled with laughter when you have far more serious, pressing issues on your plate? Just because you’re the parent of a child with special needs does not mean you don’t get to enjoy time away from home.
When you take time to take care of yourself, you’ll actually be a better spouse, friend, and of course, parent. So say ‘yes’ – having time away from home with your family and friends and allowing yourself to let loose a bit will help you emotionally, mentally, and physically, giving you the recharge you need to be the best parent you can to your children.
Take on what you can:
At the same time, you don’t have to say yes to every invitation and engagement; spreading yourself too thin or putting yourself in social situations that you’re uncomfortable with never end well. Don’t worry about what your family or friends will think about you saying no – ultimately you have to decide what is best for you and your family.
Think about activities, events, and locations that will make you and your child feel happy – isn’t that what it’s all about? Surround yourself with supportive people who will add to your experience and make your child feel comfortable. Don’t use your child as an excuse to shut yourself away or to isolate yourself, but find a happy balance of fun, engaging activities, even a small get together at home, and pushing yourself to try new, safe activities to get out in public.
You’re not alone:
You may feel like the only family who is different, but guess what? You are not alone. In fact, there are other families in your very own community who are feeling the same way, so why not reach out to those who will understand you most?
The holidays are a trying time for anyone, with financial burdens causing stress and having a general feeling of being spread too thin. You’re not alone. Connect with others online or through community groups to bridge the isolated gap, have your feelings validated, and unite with like-minded people.
There’s plenty of time to take back the holiday season, and not only ‘get through’ it, but to truly embrace it, as an individual and for your whole family. How do you welcome the holiday season? How do you manage difficult, stressful times?